Hello World: Our Birth Story!Thursday, December 31, 2015
My nurse kept telling me to hold off on the pushing because they wanted to wait til I was +2 so that it'd be easier and I wouldn't have to push for to long, but Lord! I couldnt hold off. My epidural wore off again and contractions were so painful that pushing was the only thing that relieved the pain. At about 9:50 a.m., they put the oxygen mask on me because baby's heart rate was starting to drop. We did some preliminary pushes to get me started, I think my nurse felt sorry for me so she gave in and let me push, but man oh man I was exhausted! Lack of sleep was not helping me. I was pushing for almost an hour before my nurse finally said to take a break. I took a quick 15 minute nap and she put the peanut ball in between my legs again to help open up my pelvic and whatever else it was supposed to do. My contractions were so bad that after 20 minutes I said I gotta start pushing again. So back to waiting on contractions so I can start my pushes. It was about 11:10 a.m. when we got started the second time around. Getting his head out was the hardest part ever!! My nurse waited til I was crowning before she called in my doctor. The funny thing was that the doctor that delivered me was the first doctor we saw and the last one before delivery. It was just meant to be! Anyway, I felt the baby crowning and I was wondering what was going on because she told me to stop pushing and his head was just hanging out. Every time I pushed my eyes were closed. I remember opening them and a bunch of people walking in behind my doctor and I knew this was it, in just a few short moments, we were going to meet Tristan.
Dr. Kotsko walked in and took over. The sound of her familiar voice sort of put me at ease. She directed me on the pushes and after 5 or 6 pushes, and at 11:53 a.m., I felt his entire body just plop out of me. It was the weirdest feeling ever. The hardest part was getting his head out, it only took one push to get his body out. I opened my eyes as soon as I felt his body come out and although everything was a blur, I just remember her holding him face down and turned him around as soon as she realized he had pooped inside of me. So she grabbed the suction tool thing and suctioned his mouth and nose to make sure he hadn't swallowed or had any in his mouth and nose. As soon as she finished, little mister peed all over he hands! I just remember laughing and thinking "boy this little one is going to be a handful already!" She called him a little "over-achiever!" Haha! John was able to cut the cord and I started to cry as I watched. They didn't put him on my chest right away because they ended up cleaning him because of all the pee and poop he already did. Funny thing is, while they were cleaning him, he peed for the second time, this time on the Pediatrician! Silly guy! I waited to hear his cry before I could focus on anything else. I remember looking to my side and watching them clean him and was wondering why I hadn't heard a cry yet, and as soon as I heard his cry, I bawled. I couldn't stop crying. They were tears of joy. I looked at John and mouthed "we made that!" Everything happened so quickly. One minute I was pushing him out, the next he was crying across the room. It was the most amazing feeling. One that I can't seem to explain or put into words.
Tristan Ezra Hugo, born 12/13/15 weighing 6lb 11oz and is 21 inches tall. He is perfect! He is ours to love forever. 'Til this day, it still feels surreal. I hold him and stare at him and still can't believe he's actually here for me to love on and give kisses to. Anyway, after he was all cleaned up, we did skin to skin and it was beautiful. They handed him to me and as I was caressing him I said "Hi Tristan! It's Mommy!" He stopped crying and smiled. I about lost it and started crying and laughing. It was the most amazing thing and I was filled with so much joy. He knew it was me. It wasn't captured on camera, but I will never ever forget that moment. It was when I realized I was a mom. My son recognized my voice and smiled at the familiar sound of it. It was breathtaking. I was in love. As I cuddled him, I looked at John again, who at this time was crying himself. He wasn't ugly crying like I was, but he had tears in his eyes. And so did my Mom. I was glad she was able to join us and witness the birth of her first grandchild. I wouldn't have it any other way. They both held my legs up like champs, despite my mom tugging and pulling on my leg a few times and made it difficult for me. Haha! John did amazing at motivating me and keeping me going. After every push he would caress my hair and whisper positive things. I felt so loved. The nurses cheering me on helped also. It was amazing. An experience I will never forget.
After I got some skin to skin with him, I asked John if he wanted to do it as well. So I handed him the baby and they got to bond for a little bit. Afterwards, they gave him back to me to feed. I strictly wanted to breastfeed and was so nervous that I wouldn't be successful at it. The moment I dreaded all pregnancy was about to happen. They showed me how to position him, and because of all the chords and IV still stuck to me it felt awkward, but Tristan latched on for a good 5 minutes. I hope he got whatever he needed during that first feeding because I was really worried. I was reminded that it takes some time before I get the hang of it. The first few days of breastfeeding was very dreadful for me because I felt like he wasn't getting enough of whatever he was supposed to be getting. My milk supply hadn't come in yet and there were times where Tristan wouldn't latch. The lactation specialist that came in wasn't much help. She was very rough and I felt like I had to get it perfect the first time she showed me and I felt very pressured. I'm doing better now though. I got some help from his pediatrician. She was nice enough to guide me and show me both times we went in for baby's appointment. That was when I finally got the hang of it. Looking back, I wish I had taken some breast feeding classes because that was the hardest part for me the first few days. I think i'm pretty pro at it now though! Haha!
This labor and delivery was a long and tiring one, but definitely worth all the pain. Everything I used to just wonder about, I have now experienced myself. And it is true what they say, you can never fully understand until you experience it yourself. Since the birth of Tristan, I have had 3-4 hours of sleep and there are days when I am more irritable than Id like, but as soon as I hold him, all of it goes away. My favorite part is when its just us two awake, and Im feeding him and he holds on to my breast, sometimes my fingers as if Im the most important thing in his life. He makes me feel needed. He has given me a whole new purpose in life. Motherhood isn't easy but it is definitely rewarding. I know this is just the beginning and I am in for a ride of a lifetime and I can't wait to experience them. We used to just hear stories, now we get to tell stories ourselves.
Two and a half weeks have gone by, and Tristan has already changed so much since birth. He is definitely more alert. He lost weight and gained them back, almost weighing 8lbs. He has a strong neck and hates being swaddled. He likes to sleep on his side, no matter what we do, he ends up rolling to his side. He loves to smile and laugh when he's sleeping, and makes the silliest faces. I can't handle all the cuteness he throws at me sometimes. We are so in love with him, he has all of us wrapped around his perfect tiny little fingers.